A Mother Daughter Relationship Essay

Most reboots expect many things from their children hardly most importantly handle their children to be successful and happy, but parents stick different expectations based on their childs gender. The expectations that twain receives encounter are common because both(prenominal) of them charter girls. These differences in expectations of gender can be seen in literary productions such as young woman by Jamaica Kincaid where she will list everything a women is expected of doing in the house and in Where ar You Going, Where suck in You Been? by Joyce Carol Oates, the cause argues with her daughter to be more(prenominal)(prenominal) like her babe which is portrayed to be perfect. twain of these mothers build high expectation in their daughters and show them tough chicane in their parenting. Mothers expect more from their daughters to be successful and by satisfying gender roles that guild has made for them. Both mothers in the literature show their interest in thei r daughters by sweet authoritative gender roles.In Girl we can tell her mother is listing what her daughter is expected to do in the house to choke the perfect housewife and she mustiness also act a certain way into becoming a lady. In Where Are You Going, Where take up You Been? Connies mother always compares her to her sister June the mother favors June over Connie and wants her to be more like her sister. June is everything her mother wants in a daughter while Connie is not. A traditional gender role orientation emphasizes differences between men and women and assumes that severally sex has a natural affinity to particular behaviors. Those who maintain a traditional gender role orientation are likely to be influenced by the rules and rituals of the generations that came before them, by their parents and grandparents (Blackstone 335).This extract from Amy Blackstone explains that gender roles are attached with previous generations of the family, which can indicate that the mothers are passing d hold to their daughters what they kick in learned from their childhood with their own mothers. Mothers lots want their daughters to follow their footsteps and pass certain tokens of criteria that watch to be met by them. In most cases, this creates a conference barrier between thetwo and often leading them to have conflict among their family relationship. We see this happening more in the literature of Girl when her mother states this is how you iron your fathers khaki pants so that they tangle witht have a crease this is how you sweep a corner this is how you sweep a whole house this is how you sweep a yard (Kincaid 47).The mother teaches her daughter how to iron and clean the way she knows how to, implicating that she must follow her mothers footsteps because this is the right way and that she must do it when one daytime she gets married or has a house. But not all daughters have the same opinions as their mothers, which can result in having a comm unication barrier as we can see in Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? the story states Connies mother kept picking at her until Connie wished her mother was dead and she herself was dead and it was all over. (Oates 324). Connies mother picks on her daughter so much in the story that it makes Connie not want to have any relationship with her mother by wishing both of them death. consort to Estherann Grace who has a masters degree in adolescent treat said, The strength of the mother/daughter bond contributes to the intensity of the emotional solution both negatively and positive degreely.This closeness stems somewhat from the expected psychological acknowledgment of a developing adolescent becoming a woman, following in her mothers footsteps. The teenager needs to clarify the differences to establish her own identity. (Grace 414) In order to solve their differences Connie needs to talk to her mother round the problems they both have and talk to each other about their lev el of views and figure out the underlying message why her mother and her dont get along. Both mothers from the short stories show tough be intimate for their daughters as one of their parenting techniques. For Girl the mother tells her daughter on Sundays fork out to walk like a lady and not like the street girl you are so bent on becoming (Kincaid 47), she tells this to her daughter because she on the Q.T. cares about how her daughter will turn out to be as a woman. The mother uses a form of reverse psychology so her daughter can prove her wrong that she will not flex a slut that her mother thinks she will pay back.In Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? her mother proclaims to Connie saying Why dont you keep your agency clean like your sister? Howve you got your hair fixed- what the hell stinks? Hair disperse? You dont see your sister using that junk. (Oates 323) The mother complains to Connie to her because she wants her to becomejust like her older daughter since sh e seems to believe that her oldest became successful and that Connie is doing the cease opposite of the mothers expectations. But in Connies decimal point of view she rebels to organism anything like her sister because she has her own personality and doesnt want to follow someone elses footsteps. According to Gregory Patterson Kids need more parental involvement. Whether its in setting high expectations and then dimension children accountable, or by being closely and continuously involved as you set and hold high standards.(Patterson 4)With this being said, Patterson would approve of the relationships that both mothers have with their daughters because it makes the parent become more involved with their children lives since its giving the child to hold high expectations of the parent which later on will lead to positive outcomes to the child. Although these mothers have unique ways of parenting, other parents might say this type of parenting can result of psychological cry out t o their daughters. Psychological abuse is the parents behavior that can aggressively misemploy their childs mental health (McCoy and Keen 123). We can see this psychological abuse for both literatures, in Girl her mother refers to the daughter to be bout into a slut, which will deliberately hurt the daughters feelings.Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? the mother tells Connie to stop acting like shes handsome because shes not. Connie states that these words are familiar to her indicating that her mother verbally attacks her often which results into a psychological abuse. As stated by Monica McCoy and Stefanie Keen, parents with good intentions whitethorn become verbally aggressivewhether the parent deliberately ignored the child, think to harm the child with harsh words, or behaved out of ignorance. (McCoy and Keen 125) The quote explains that even parents who have good intentions to their child can still accidently harm them with harsh words that can cause the psychologi cal abuse towards the children.In conclusion, mothers expect more from their daughters to succeed in life with what the mother has provided to them varying from everyday life to academics and also by satisfying gender roles that society has made for women. While some of these gender roles can be protested by their daughters, it will most likely create communication barriers between their mothers relationship and cause several problems between the two. As a parentingtechnique both the mothers have portrayed themselves as very harsh and heartless mothers but in all realty this points out that they have good intentions for being so strict on their daughters. Both mothers use though love in their parenting to show what their daughters are expected of and to hopefully guide their daughters in life with what the mother has taught them.Works CitedBlackstone, Amy. Gender Roles and Society. Human Ecology An cyclopaedia of Children, Families, Communities, and Environments, (2003) 335-338 Gra ce, Estherann. Mothers and Daughters The Challenge of Communicating. Journal of Pediatric and Adolescent Gynecology, 19.6 (2006) 413-414. Keen, Stefanie M., and Monica McCoy. Child Abuse and Neglect. red-hot York and London Psychology Press, 2014. Print. Kincaid, Jamaica. Girl. Backpack Literature An Introduction to Fiction, Poetry, Drama, and Writing. Ed. X.J. Kennedy and Dana Gioia. fourth ed. newfound York Person Longman, 2012. 46-50 Oates, Joyce Carol. Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been. Backpack Literature An Introduction to Fiction, Poetry, Drama, and Writing. Ed. X.J. Kennedy and Dana Gioia. 4th ed. New York Person Longman, 2012. 323-337 Patterson, Gregory A. Tough Love is deuce Words and Two Necessities. Phi Delta Kappan, 93.5 (2012) 4.